My Little Life
by alexisgal
Summary: A premordial dwarf at two feet two inches goes missing and what? She also only weighs twentytwo pounds.
1. Missing!

My Little life

CAST:

Serena Abtine: ME!!!!!!!!

Lilly Abtine: Not on here

Hannah Lizardo: CandyCanesRock

Charlie Abtine: CandyCanesRock

(SCENE ONE)

Lilly Abtine: (knocks at door) Serena, wake up. (walks in) Serena. (realizes she's not there) SERENA!

Charlie Abtine (runs in) Lilly, what's wrong?

Lilly: Charlie, Serena's missing!

Charlie: (dials number into phone) I'll call the neighbors.

Mrs. Fenton: Hello?  
Charlie: Mrs. F., it's me, Charlie Abtine.

Mrs. Fenton: Hello, Mr. Abtine. How are you?  
Charlie: Horrible! Serena's missing!

Mrs. Fenton: I don't know how to help you; why don't you call Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle?  
Charlie: Mrs. Fenton, pardon my French, but, WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS?!

Mrs. Fenton: Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle.

Charlie: She's a book character.

Mrs. Fenton: You drank my soda!

Charlie: What soda?  
Mrs. Fenton: You weren't supposed to kill him!  
Charlie: Kill whom?  
Mrs. Fenton: Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle!  
Charlie: That's a woman!

Mrs. Fenton: Welcome to Pizza Hut! May I take your order? (Charlie has hung up, doesn't realize it) Oh, so you want a Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle with extra onions? That's going to be $5.38 at the next window!  
Charlie: She went crazy. Btch. She doesn't know that Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle died yesterday.

Mrs. Fenton: (wearing Pizza Hut uniform) Here's Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle with extra onions. That's $5.38. (Charlie closes window on her hand)

Charlie: Now that Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle died, I'll call the police.

Police: Hello, this is 911. What is your emergency? Is it purple?  
Charlie: IS EVERYONE GOING CRAZY? THEIR NUTTY BTCHES! And yes, it's purple!

Police: Come down sir. Now what's the purple emergency?

Charlie: My daughter is missing. And it's pink.

Police: So your pink daughter is missing?  
Charlie: No, the problem is pink. Her name is Serena Abtine.

Police: Okay, give me some information about Serena. And, by any chance, when the last time you saw Serena, was she wearing pink?

Charlie: No! It was purple with yellow polka dots. She is 22 pounds and two feet two inches tall.

Police: How old is Serena?  
Charlie: Eleven. (Police hangs up)

Lilly: Did you spit in your eye?  
Charlie: Yes, it burns. And the police hung up.

Lilly: Honey, lets go buy some "MISSING" posters. On the way, let's run over the neighbors' cats.

Charlie: Let's go! I hate those cats! Their faces look like butts!

Lilly: Shotgun!

Charlie: Ow, my nuts!

Lilly: I'll drive. What happen? Did you spit in your eye and then it went down to your nuts?

Charlie: I think so. Now my problem is purple.


	2. CSI: Miami

My Little life

CAST:

Serena Abtine: ME!!!!!!!!

Lilly Abtine: Montana Bull

Hannah Lizardo: Chelsea Johnson

Charlie Abtine: Chelsea Johnson

(SCENE ONE)

Lilly Abtine: (knocks at door) Serena, wake up. (walks in) Serena. (realizes she's not there) SERENA!

Charlie Abtine (runs in) Lilly, what's wrong?

Lilly: Charlie, Serena's missing!

Charlie: (dials number into phone) I'll call the neighbors.

Mrs. Fenton: Hello?  
Charlie: Mrs. F., it's me, Charlie Abtine.

Mrs. Fenton: Hello, Mr. Abtine. How are you?  
Charlie: Horrible! Serena's missing!

Mrs. Fenton: I don't know how to help you; why don't you call Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle?  
Charlie: Mrs. Fenton, pardon my French, but, WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS?!  
Mrs. Fenton: Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle.

Charlie: She's a book character.

Mrs. Fenton: You drank my soda!

Charlie: What soda?  
Mrs. Fenton: You weren't supposed to kill him!  
Charlie: Kill whom?  
Mrs. Fenton: Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle!  
Charlie: That's a woman!

Mrs. Fenton: Welcome to Pizza Hut! May I take your order? (Charlie has hung up, doesn't realize it) Oh, so you want a Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle with extra onions? That's going to be $5.38 at the next window!  
Charlie: She went crazy. Btch. She doesn't know that Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle died yesterday.

Mrs. Fenton: (wearing Pizza Hut uniform) Here's Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle with extra onions. That's $5.38. (Charlie closes window on her hand)

Charlie: Now that Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle died, I'll call the police.

Police: Hello, this is 911. What is your emergency? Is it purple?  
Charlie: IS EVERYONE GOING CRAZY? THEIR NUTTY BTCHES! And yes, it's purple!

Police: Come down sir. Now what's the purple emergency?

Charlie: My daughter is missing. And it's pink.

Police: So your pink daughter is missing?  
Charlie: No, the problem is pink. Her name is Serena Abtine.

Police: Okay, give me some information about Serena. And, by any chance, when the last time you saw Serena, was she wearing pink?

Charlie: No! It was purple with yellow polka dots. She is 22 pounds and two feet two inches tall.

Police: How old is Serena?  
Charlie: Eleven. (Police hangs up)

Lilly: Did you spit in your eye?  
Charlie: Yes, it burns. And the police hung up.

Lilly: Honey, lets go buy some "MISSING" posters. On the way, let's run over the neighbors' cats.

Charlie: Let's go! I hate those cats! Their faces look like butts!

Lilly: Shotgun!

Charlie: Ow, my nuts!

Lilly: I'll drive. What happen? Did you spit in your eye and then it went down to your nuts?

Charlie: I think so. Now my problem is purple.

(SCENE TWO)

Charlie: Let's watch CSI: Miami. Maybe it'll be pink! And teach us how to find Serena!  
Lilly: I love pink problems!

Cat: I do too.

Lilly: Where did that fcking cat come from?  
Cat: I'm from Hollywood, maybe Miami, maybe Pluto, and ME-OW! MY FCKING FOOT! SHE STEPPED ON MY FOOT!

Lilly: Now, he's gone. So we can talk about US!

Charlie: Okay! I heard SpongeBob was shot!

Lilly: No way! Really?  
Charlie: Yes, he shot himself. Superman kissed him and made-out with him. And he shot himself in the nuts.

Lilly: OW!

Charlie: What now? BTCH!

Lilly: CSI. How do you spell CSI?

Charlie: H-O-R-E.

(SCENE THREE)  
Lilly: (phone rings) Hello? Hello! Where? OH MY GOD!  
Charlie: What? I am making Mt. Everest out of the mashed potatoes you gave me!

Lilly: Charlie, the cat died.

Charlie: NO!!!!!! Wait, we don't have a cat. (phone rings again) Hello? Yes, this is Charlie um (puts hand over mouth piece) Honey, what's our last name?

Lilly: Remember the cat from Pluto? He…

Charlie: Yes, this is Charlie Remember-the-cat-from-Pluto-he. NO! Not Serena!  
Lilly: What's wrong?  
Charlie: They found Serena dead this morning.

Lilly: Well, let's go get her.

Charlie: I'll make a coffin myself.

Lilly: I'll help. (Starts to cry)  
Charlie: (in the car) There it is, where they found her.

Lilly: She looks so peaceful.

Charlie: (in the car home) What is she going to wear at the funeral?  
Lilly: What about the dress she wore to church?

Charlie: She'll look good in that.

(SCENE FOUR)

Lilly: Drop me off here. I'm going to sign up for a therapist.

Hannah: Hello, I'm Hannah Lizardo.

Lilly: I'm Lilly Abtine.

Hannah: How can I help you Mrs. Abtine?  
Lilly: My daughter just died and I'm going to need a therapist.

Hannah: You've come to the right place. I do therapy for up to six months, fifty dollars per month.

Lilly: All I have is a twenty and a checkbook.

Hannah: Tell you what – just write a check and when you have the money to pay for it, tell me and I'll cash it then.

Lilly: Thank you, oh thank you! You're the best! (Starts hugging Hannah)

Hannah: This is kind of awkward.

Lilly: (walks out to car) I just signed up for…

Charlie: (making out with car seat) I love you!

Lilly: HEY!  
Charlie: Love you! (kisses her)


	3. A Telephone Call

My Little life

CAST:

Serena Abtine: ME!!!!!!!!

Lilly Abtine: Montana Bull

Hannah Lizardo: Chelsea Johnson

Charlie Abtine: Chelsea Johnson

(SCENE ONE)

Lilly Abtine: (knocks at door) Serena, wake up. (walks in) Serena. (realizes she's not there) SERENA!

Charlie Abtine (runs in) Lilly, what's wrong?

Lilly: Charlie, Serena's missing!

Charlie: (dials number into phone) I'll call the neighbors.

Mrs. Fenton: Hello?  
Charlie: Mrs. F., it's me, Charlie Abtine.

Mrs. Fenton: Hello, Mr. Abtine. How are you?  
Charlie: Horrible! Serena's missing!

Mrs. Fenton: I don't know how to help you; why don't you call Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle?  
Charlie: Mrs. Fenton, pardon my French, but, WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS?!  
Mrs. Fenton: Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle.

Charlie: She's a book character.

Mrs. Fenton: You drank my soda!

Charlie: What soda?  
Mrs. Fenton: You weren't supposed to kill him!  
Charlie: Kill whom?  
Mrs. Fenton: Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle!  
Charlie: That's a woman!

Mrs. Fenton: Welcome to Pizza Hut! May I take your order? (Charlie has hung up, doesn't realize it) Oh, so you want a Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle with extra onions? That's going to be $5.38 at the next window!  
Charlie: She went crazy. Btch. She doesn't know that Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle died yesterday.

Mrs. Fenton: (wearing Pizza Hut uniform) Here's Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle with extra onions. That's $5.38. (Charlie closes window on her hand)

Charlie: Now that Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle died, I'll call the police.

Police: Hello, this is 911. What is your emergency? Is it purple?  
Charlie: IS EVERYONE GOING CRAZY? THEIR NUTTY BTCHES! And yes, it's purple!

Police: Come down sir. Now what's the purple emergency?

Charlie: My daughter is missing. And it's pink.

Police: So your pink daughter is missing?  
Charlie: No, the problem is pink. Her name is Serena Abtine.

Police: Okay, give me some information about Serena. And, by any chance, when the last time you saw Serena, was she wearing pink?

Charlie: No! It was purple with yellow polka dots. She is 22 pounds and two feet two inches tall.

Police: How old is Serena?  
Charlie: Eleven. (Police hangs up)

Lilly: Did you spit in your eye?  
Charlie: Yes, it burns. And the police hung up.

Lilly: Honey, lets go buy some "MISSING" posters. On the way, let's run over the neighbors' cats.

Charlie: Let's go! I hate those cats! Their faces look like butts!

Lilly: Shotgun!

Charlie: Ow, my nuts!

Lilly: I'll drive. What happen? Did you spit in your eye and then it went down to your nuts?

Charlie: I think so. Now my problem is purple.

(SCENE TWO)

Charlie: Let's watch CSI: Miami. Maybe it'll be pink! And teach us how to find Serena!  
Lilly: I love pink problems!

Cat: I do too.

Lilly: Where did that fcking cat come from?  
Cat: I'm from Hollywood, maybe Miami, maybe Pluto, and ME-OW! MY FCKING FOOT! SHE STEPPED ON MY FOOT!

Lilly: Now, he's gone. So we can talk about US!

Charlie: Okay! I heard SpongeBob was shot!

Lilly: No way! Really?  
Charlie: Yes, he shot himself. Superman kissed him and made-out with him. And he shot himself in the nuts.

Lilly: OW!

Charlie: What now? BTCH!

Lilly: CSI. How do you spell CSI?

Charlie: H-O-R-E.

(SCENE THREE)  
Lilly: (phone rings) Hello? Hello! Where? OH MY GOD!  
Charlie: What? I am making Mt. Everest out of the mashed potatoes you gave me!

Lilly: Charlie, the cat died.

Charlie: NO!!!!!! Wait, we don't have a cat. (phone rings again) Hello? Yes, this is Charlie um (puts hand over mouth piece) Honey, what's our last name?

Lilly: Remember the cat from Pluto? He…

Charlie: Yes, this is Charlie Remember-the-cat-from-Pluto-he. NO! Not Serena!  
Lilly: What's wrong?  
Charlie: They found Serena dead this morning.

Lilly: Well, let's go get her.

Charlie: I'll make a coffin myself.

Lilly: I'll help. (Starts to cry)  
Charlie: (in the car) There it is, where they found her.

Lilly: She looks so peaceful.

Charlie: (in the car home) What is she going to wear at the funeral?  
Lilly: What about the dress she wore to church?

Charlie: She'll look good in that.

(SCENE FOUR)

Lilly: Drop me off here. I'm going to sign up for a therapist.

Hannah: Hello, I'm Hannah Lizardo.

Lilly: I'm Lilly Abtine.

Hannah: How can I help you Mrs. Abtine?  
Lilly: My daughter just died and I'm going to need a therapist.

Hannah: You've come to the right place. I do therapy for up to six months, fifty dollars per month.

Lilly: All I have is a twenty and a checkbook.

Hannah: Tell you what – just write a check and when you have the money to pay for it, tell me and I'll cash it then.

Lilly: Thank you, oh thank you! You're the best! (Starts hugging Hannah)

Hannah: This is kind of awkward.

Lilly: (walks out to car) I just signed up for…

Charlie: (making out with car seat) I love you!

Lilly: HEY!  
Charlie: Love you! (kisses her)


	4. A Therapist

My Little life

CAST:

Serena Abtine: ME!!!!!!!!

Lilly Abtine: Not on here

Hannah Lizardo: CandyCanesRock

Charlie Abtine: CandyCanesRock

(SCENE FOUR)

Lilly: Drop me off here. I'm going to sign up for a therapist.

Hannah: Hello, I'm Hannah Lizardo.

Lilly: I'm Lilly Abtine.

Hannah: How can I help you Mrs. Abtine?  
Lilly: My daughter just died and I'm going to need a therapist.

Hannah: You've come to the right place. I do therapy for up to six months, fifty dollars per month.

Lilly: All I have is a twenty and a checkbook.

Hannah: Tell you what – just write a check and when you have the money to pay for it, tell me and I'll cash it then.

Lilly: Thank you, oh thank you! You're the best! (Starts hugging Hannah)

Hannah: This is kind of awkward.

Lilly: (walks out to car) I just signed up for…

Charlie: (making out with car seat) I love you!

Lilly: HEY!  
Charlie: Love you! (kisses her)


	5. Sorry Letter

Dear readers of my pathetic excuses of stories:

This is alexisgal talking. I know I haven't updated in—well, let's see, a year now (my most recent update being Miley's Journey of Life and More Life), and I have an explanation to that:

I am quitting FanFiction.

No, no, I'm not quitting altogether. But all my stories were never any good, no matter how hard I tried. I was young and new to FanFiction and writing altogether. I had never written anything except my diary, and half of the things in my diary I wanted to throw away or burn.

Instead of quitting altogether, which I can't do, considering I love to write and need to post stories somewhere, I have made a new FanFiction account, which is called TohruROX2221. Depending on reviews, I might rewrite and transfer some of my better stories from alexisgal over to TohruROX2221 so that you may read them, and ultimately get updates. But I can't continue to write stories that weren't good to begin with. It's just in my heart to do so. I have already transferred a story without realizing it to TohruROX2221, and that would be Miley's Journey of Life and More Life, now published under the title So, Miley. This is a much better version, I'm not getting flames, the only story to receive flames also had the good points in the reviews in question.

So, I am sorry to say I will not be continuing alexisgal, not when so many people hate the stories. But I couldn't write then!!! I can't try to make them good now; people will notice the drastic incline in improvement.

However, to see my other works go to TohruROX2221 here on FanFiction, or, you may go to FictionPress and read my stories under the penname Madison52431. I just want to let you know that I am no longer writing my stories here.

I will for a fact, however, continue Zoey Goes To Hogwarts, as that is the one fic I am actually proud of in this account. However, there were rough patches, which I will be glad to work out. I just wanted to let you know. I'm sorry to anyone I may have upset. I beg you not to be too upset (that is, if you ARE upset). There are other authors on FanFiction, and I am still continuing on despite all of the junk I've written.

I'm sorry I have wasted your time.

Signing off for the last time,  
Formerly known as alexisgal


End file.
